


Charmed

by Macadamanaity



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling, Ocean's Eleven (2001)
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-29
Updated: 2009-11-29
Packaged: 2017-10-03 23:55:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Macadamanaity/pseuds/Macadamanaity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a Lemony-Snicket with a Sir Ian McKellan on the side.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Charmed

**Author's Note:**

> Written for minttown1.

Not again.

Danny closed his eyes and opened them, just to be sure. The vault was empty.

He looked back to the camera Rusty was watching from, and shrugged as if to say, ‘my bad.’ But it wasn’t. The plan was flawless. It was a blended Gone With The Wind-Some Like it Hot with a reverse Bob Dylan and there was no way it had backfired. Toulour wasn’t even in the same _hemisphere_ as the Caribbean!

And yet the feathers were gone.

“Feathers?” Danny had said.

“Feathers.” Rusty had nodded.

They had stared at each other, unblinking, for about forty-six seconds.

“Okay then.” And he hadn’t asked.

In the distance, he could hear barking.

Danny shrugged again, closed the vault, put his wig back on, and climbed into the air-conditioning duct.

Just as he was ditching the cello by the hot tub toward the edge of the compound, a mangy black dog ran out from behind the shed, growling. Danny pulled the jerky out of his sock, because, well. It’s not like he had a use for it _now_.

The dog sniffed it, and Danny would swear on Linus’s life that it rolled its eyes.

Then suddenly, there was no longer a dog standing there, but a person. A person who was clearly annoyed.

“Oh, just get lost, will you. You’ve caused enough trouble as it is.”

Danny blinked and pulled out his best, most disarming ‘who me?’ smile. Then man snorted. And then he pulled out a long, thin stick.

Danny raised an eyebrow, or rather, he would have had there not been a *pop* and a whooshing sound to his left, where Rusty now stood.

“Feathers?”

Rusty smiled.

“Feathers.”

The man laughed.

“Phoenix feathers, as it were. We weren’t ready to use them yet, but once we got wind of you two, the plan had to be… expedited.”

Daniel Ocean at this moment decided to take the rest of this day in stride, as it clearly had decided to do the same to him. It was only fair. So, he didn’t even bat an eyelid when Rusty pulled out a matching stick, and pointed it back at the man.

“Hand them over.”

“How about, not? I mean, I’ll give You Know Who some credit, now that he’s sending somewhat competent and aesthetically pleasing minions to do his work, but come on. ‘Hand them over?’ My fourteen-year-old godson can be more threatening than that.”

“You must be so proud.” Danny couldn’t resist adding. Rusty ignored this and stepped in front of him, pointing the stick, somehow more aggressively.

“Hand them over, now. Please.”

The other man cocked his head.

“Death by manners, is it? Well that’d be a new one, at least. But you’re not with him, are you?”

“Not too many Death Eaters have muggle partners.” He gestured at Danny, who waved cutely, knowing his role in this scene, even if he didn’t know what play it was. Rusty winked.

Their opponent sighed, exasperated, but few could withstand the charms of Daniel Ocean and Rusty Ryan working in tandem, pointy-sticks notwithstanding.

“Halvsies?”

Rusty smiled.

“Deal.”

The man muttered something and pulled a shimmering blue satchel out of a pocket of thin air behind him. He drew two long and bright feathers out of it and handed them to Rusty, who handed them back to Danny, who had the presence of mind to retrieve the cello now that the plan was back on track. Or had it been there all along?

“You want to obliviate him, or shall I?” Danny didn’t know what that meant but he didn’t like the sound of it.

“No need.” Rusty said simply, with a Mona Lisa smile.

  
“But it’s against the law!”

Rusty and Danny simultaneously burst into laughter. The man had the good graces to look embarrassed.

“Sorry. Nasty habit. Well, we’d best be on our ways then.” He offered his own charming grin. “Mind putting a good word in for me with the Americans?”

Rusty shook his head.

“No can do.” The man’s face fell.

“I’m not a murderer, you know.”

“I can see that. But people are _still_ telling stories about Atlantic City.”

“Bugger. You cause _one_ international wizarding gambling incident and that’s it. What ever happened to forgive and forget?”

“It’s a mad world, Sirius Black. But may I suggest Canada? I hear Manitoba is particularly lovely this time of year.”

“It’s the dead of winter.”

Rusty shrugged enigmatically. Danny plucked a few discordant strings to add to the mood of mystery.

He gave them a look like they were the ones who were crazy, and then perhaps proved them right by turning back into a dog, and trotting off through a gap in the chain-link fence.

Danny turned to face Rusty.

“What’s in the praries?”

“Hopefully a man who attracts more international attention than _you_.”

“So we’re taking the feathers to…”

“New Zealand of course.”

“The guy with the thing?”

Rusty blinked in affirmative.

“So it’s a Lemony-Snicket with a Sir Ian McKellan on the side?”

Rusty grinned.

“Works like a charm.”


End file.
